November 07, 2015

A Sigh, A Vigil; Algonquin Park


                He leans over the counter, bringing himself closer to the ranger. Hard to tell if this is arrogance, or just him being himself. Pulls his Gucci sunglasses down the bridge of his nose so he can stare at her over the rims. Arrogance, then.

                “What’s your most famous trail?” he barks out. Peacock hair, Italian leather loafers to match his shades, DKNY denim. He doesn’t fit in here, shouldn’t. Here, with the ghost of Tom Thompson, the memory of voyageurs and railroad men. The wolves and bears. Not for him, this place, should not be. Took forty five minutes to fight the gridlock at the West Gate. A teeming horde belies this thought. As if Markham has vomited its contents onto highway 60, making the Park a sort of Nature Disneyland. So many humans looking to “get back to the wild” that they have pushed the wild away. This is Thanksgiving at the Park. Two-legged lemmings staggering under the weight of camera lenses trekking along the shoulder of 60. Some don’t even bother with the walking, undoing windows to take snapshots as they whiz by. Not for you, this place, not for any of you, a voice wants to scream out. But it is, it is for them now. Not now for the ghosts and memories, the wolves nor bears. It is all cameras, tourists, blazing autumn hues, diesel fumes and auto horns; Algonquin Park with the timbre of the downtown core. Sad, so sad. The ghosts could weep at this sight.

                “It depends,” the female ranger tells the peacock in metropolitan feathers. “How long do you have to spend out on a trail?”

                “Two hours.” Seriousness in his tone. Not kidding, then. Laughter now. The voice that wanted to scream giggles instead. Two hours, to experience the Park. To see it, breathe it in. Feel it. In suede Gucci loafers. This absurdity feels surreal, like a Camus hero fighting the sun on an Algerian beach. What brings anyone here now?

                The tangle of tourists lining up to photograph the trees from the same vantage point, one click and shuffle at a time, creates anger. It simmers, lodged deep down. Takes an hour on the back country trail to leave. No tourists now, here in the bone cold valleys hidden beneath vivid leaves, amongst weeping, moss shrouded stones. They stay by the highway, the snack shops, outfitter stores. Convenience ever close to hand.

                The weight of the backpack is good. Solid. Creaking knees at times when the trail meanders down into the damp hollows, sighing muscles with every ascent, naked rock shoulders rising above wilderness lake lands. A trail well travelled, but less so. Not Disneyland, not yet. Woods stretching away, as dark and deep as a Frost poem, holding fast to memory. Not what they were, not now, but not less than needed, not yet.

                A night fire, a lakeside. Crisp, clean air, Fall in it now, of course. A short walk from the circle of light, to the jagged edge of the water. Ripples, stirrings of a night breeze, fish below bobbing up for water striders. Not the peacefulness found in the still of a heavy night. Tonight is light in feel, autumnal. The dome of the sky is high, far off. Stars now, beyond count, the cliché. Truth in that, in seeing the spread of a galaxy in cool autumn, beyond burning neon angels. The Milky Way is visible, a chalked, misted presence, the heart of our galaxy whirling away in its insignificance.

                To sit here, both by fire and lakeside, under stars, a river of cosmos, licking flames dancing with heat, to know of that insignificance. Closer to the divine? Yes, and no. There is Something, and not Nothing. The greatest awareness of all is in that, too great a thought for this night, or any night to follow.

                Sit, with the ghosts and memories instead. Ghosts, under stars. Tranquility. A lake at night, deep in the dark of the woods. Tomorrow, back to highway 60, and its vomited humanity, peacocks in suede, who are in this place, but not of it. A sigh, a vigil. Stars and ghosts. Algonquin Park.

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